It’s funny how He does it.
My life has consisted of a progressive unfolding, a journey of steps and many, many doors. My heart has been rent and reformed dozens of times–expectations derailed, God switching my direction, people hurting me, me hurting people, disillusionment, and other assorted inconsistencies with my fallen logic about how things are supposed to be. The Lord always uses it to grow me into a deeper disciple.
This moment is a moment of sweetness, a door that has been steadily opening in segments with little slits of light peeking through. God has been showing me glimpses of the future by intersecting my present: affirmations that I am gifted and blessed, future plans falling into place, expressions of love by my family and dearest friends, reminders that our God is the Lord of all.
I sometimes stare into space, mentally pinching myself because it’s hard to believe that I am even alive, thinking and breathing only because the Savior is ticking my heart along and holding it together.
The assurance that God is working out what he started in me (salvation) is mind-boggling. To start with, God actually cares about my life (and yours!) and is involved at all. In addition, he is sovereign over his chess board and is lovingly directing the traffic, personally, and through me. God is not just a part of his process–he is intimately outworking my salvation for his great, glorious praise. Hardly moralistic deism, this is God himself opening up and controlling the doors he is guiding us through as believers. Somehow, we are also participating in this–able to be free to serve him and live the way we were meant to, the ultimate expression of free will.
And that is amazing. He did it for the Philippians; he is doing it for us, whatever that may look like, dark valley or beautiful mountaintop. The hope that comes from knowing this is utterly, utterly shattering. God is bringing it all to completion, what he starts. Each piece of our lives is eventually going to fit together in a radical puzzle of divine sovereignty that we will never be able to comprehend. We can trust the puzzle-maker, because he is the one putting the segments together as only a Master can.
“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” -Paul. Letter to the Philippian church. 1:6. Seeing this changes everything.