Musings

/Musings

100 Days

In 100 days, I’m getting married.

 

What will the world look like in 100 days? It’s not something I’ve ever thought about before. Time usually just rolls on like normal. We don’t expect major bumps and blizzards and bizarre changes that completely curtail our expectation of the next several months. No one really wonders if restaurants will still be open in 100 days or if we will be allowed to leave our houses.

And yet, for the first time in my life, I and the rest of my friends, family, and community, are forced to take everything one day at a time. The coronavirus has crumpled our little wall calendars into magnified accordions where we can really only see today, honestly not knowing what will happen tomorrow. What kind of world will I wake up to in the morning? Will I be quarantined, will the grocery store close, will my roommate wake

100 Days2020-03-19T18:42:00+00:00

Modern-Day Siloam Towers

Everyone is human. And that means everyone is broken – we all struggle and fight in this life, whether it’s circumstances, others, or our own selves.

I never thought Kobe Bryant would be the one to move me out of my long writing hiatus, but it’s been a strange week, and I’ve been wrestling for a while with thinking that I have things to say, but there are so many words already out there, that it doesn’t really matter in the end. But it kind of does, and keeping thoughts in my brain don’t usually serve a good purpose for anything besides my own mental filing cabinets.

Some would call the death of basketball star Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna tragic. I would agree to an extent – it seems so senseless, a helicopter crash that shouldn’t happened, an absolute star and his little girl and a group of friends taken

Modern-Day Siloam Towers2020-02-01T05:09:07+00:00

Hang your hat on this

I was at a wedding last weekend for a friend. I was there from day one, and watching the ceremony reminded me of the striking weightiness of marriage. To unite with another soul for the rest of your life, covenanting together to take up the mantle of displaying Christ’s relationship with the Church to the entire watching world, committing to forsake all others…the joy of it is consuming. The heaviness is stifling, a beautiful unity of seriousness and absolute happiness as one considers the institution and how everything changes in a man or woman’s life upon entering that holy union.

Do I fully know what this signifies? Am I ready for this? Well, not really – there is always a sense of unknown as two people grasp hands and jump off the cliff of life into their intertwined future walking along the path as one

Hang your hat on this2019-10-08T02:29:18+00:00

in whom you find pleasure becomes your treasure | john piper

What does it mean to delight in God? I think if you ask the average Christian, no one quite knows what to say.

I just finished listening to a sermon on the subject from Pastor John Piper. It was from a conference recently, and the title captured my imagination because I didn’t know how to answer that myself.

I enjoy pizza. I enjoy family and friends and writing and work and cooking and reading. And then when I think about enjoying God, my default is to list all the things I do: I read my Bible and pray and go to church and…I have affection toward Him, I think?

Pastor John makes this amazing connection that I need to ponder for a while. We delight in God by getting to know His beauty and person through His

in whom you find pleasure becomes your treasure | john piper2019-10-08T02:29:18+00:00

the relief of springtime

This past winter has probably been the most difficult I’ve experienced so far in my short time on earth. It was brutally cold, so cold that the office shut down for two days in a row and our furnace couldn’t keep up. My roommates and I hunkered down most of the winter in blankets and restlessness.

The cold seeped into my spirit. Anxiety, depression, apathy, and frustration with myself and life made a messy home among my fragile emotions and hopes for the future. My spiritual life was a battle – it was a fight to have focused times with God and actively stay in the Bible.

My body became my enemy. I was diagnosed with a chronic condition and faced odd complications that didn’t get much of a clear answer. I was shuffled around to specialists and tests. I railed against

the relief of springtime2019-10-08T02:29:18+00:00

I Want You to be Happier

I wish I had found out earlier in my life that God was happy. Oh, how that would have changed my perception of him!

Yes, he is eternally happy, forever delighting and loving within himself as the Trinity. And yes, that means when we know him, we are brought into that beautiful, ever-flowing Source of joy forever. In him is the fullness of all things, and he reigns over all things on heaven and earth.

I’ve been studying Colossians recently in tandem with Randy Alcorn’s superb treatise on a theology of happiness. What a surprising, undiscussed doctrine! Our eternal Grace and peace and hope flow from our God, and is the preeminent one over all creation (Col 1:3, 5, 15, 17).

Our God is the source of all delight and exudes all delight. He is the

I Want You to be Happier2019-02-01T04:06:47+00:00

October

“…for it is written: ‘Be holy, because I am holy.’”

I’d like to confess some sin.

I’ve been working at a prominent church serving in various roles, with hands in multiple ministries, graduated from an amazing Bible college. I read my Bible daily and pray, I love my God, and I yearn to follow Him in obedience. I meditate on Scripture. I lead a small group of women. I pursue humility as a posture and attitude, with the Holy Spirit’s help. I’d like to think I’m doing pretty well in my Christian life. Many common sins don’t phase me: lust, or lies, or lack of conviction, or unclean speech. My media choices are well though-out in light of God’s call to holiness.

But part of my heart is not devoted to the Lord. An idol rules my life in a particular area, and that area has started to dominate my entire life.

It’s one

October2019-10-08T02:29:18+00:00

February

I’m almost six months into my new job. Some parts still feel new to me, but I’m grateful and blessed by my coworker’s words that accurate describe my happy situation:

“It’s like God put a Kaitlyn-shaped hole right here at church, and you’ve just fit right in.”

One of my favorite parts of my job is corresponding and caring for our 75+ missionaries around the world. Several of them are retired after serving faithfully for many years–in Africa, in the US doing rural church planting, in the untouched places of South America. I deeply admire their commitment, resolving to follow God’s call as fresh twenty-somethings who, sometimes with their spouses, sometimes alone, ventured out on ships to translate the Bible and teach it when being a missionary meant living in a dirt hut and taking malaria medicine that makes you lose your hearing.

One of our dear ladies I decided to call and

February2018-02-09T03:37:32+00:00

What I’m Learning from my High-Church Friends

[Note: This post begins a new shift in writing. During my time in Bible college, this blog served the wonderful purpose of assisting me in processing my musings about the Lord working in my life. I will still seek to honor him in all my writing, but now that I’ve graduated, I’d like to make my posts more structured and topic-focused.]

 

I am hardly a high-church type of person, although I spent the first seven years of my life in a place full of chant-y rituals, clerical robes, and passing the communion cup. That church, sadly, was a dead and cold place, and my parents left seeking Christ’s face in a church elsewhere. From then on, I have been fed and nourished in a series of Bible-based denominational and non-denominational Bodies.

In Bible College, I met my first Anglican friend. In a curious pendulum swing from our parents and pastors of our youth,

What I’m Learning from my High-Church Friends2019-10-08T02:29:18+00:00

Wisdom from Pooh

I am in the process of ending Year 4. I will soon cross the stage. I will shortly have my piece of paper. I will be sent.

Bible College has been the most incredible experience of my life. Trying to say goodbye “well” has involved a large, Hermoine Granger-sized mixed bag of emotions. This has been my favorite season, favorite place on earth, and now it is time to leave.

Maggie took me to a ridiculously sketchy-but-good grilled cheese dive tonight for one last spontaneous dinner. God continues his profound stooping as he constantly uses agents to encourage me and mediate his love. I love the Body of Christ for this reason and so many more.

Reading Romans 8 shows the tension between the already-but-not-yet world we live in. There are goodbyes, and pain, and sufferings, yes, but we as Christians await the new heavens and the new earth, we have hope that

Wisdom from Pooh2017-04-25T04:30:19+00:00