“He is faithful. I don’t understand,” she laughed. “There’s a lot of grace.”

Brynna the RA and I took a long walk this afternoon through the park and down to the beach. The weather is beautiful, the end of the semester is near, and the campus is alive with shorts and flip-flops.

We hadn’t been able to really talk for some time due to work and school schedules, but I was so glad we were able to catch up. Her encouragement and experience is like a refreshing wave regarding some of the stuff I’m sorting through. God provides and speaks through our brothers and sisters more often than we know. I will miss her when she leaves for ministry across the world.

I continue to humbly learn how much I need Jesus. I need him to love others through me, to wake me up, to give me words that will help and not harm, to intercede for me before the Father, to strengthen me when I find out that the guy is seeing someone else, and to heal the hurts of parting ways with friends who are leaving for far-off places. I need him every moment, and I cannot express my gratefulness that he is clinging to me despite my fleshly desire to do what I want.

The cry of the Old Testament prophet remains true in my life: Lord, you will be the sure foundation for my times, for you are the store of righteousness, salvation, and wisdom. Isaiah 33.

I am assured by the promises of God that he is here (Is 41:10, Matt 28:20), that he is at work (Eph 2:10, Phil 2:13), and that he is putting pieces together somehow (Ps 147:5, Is 55:9). There are a lot of people in pain, in process, and in transition around me; it’s hard to see the point.

But Jesus.

He is the author and perfecter of our faith, according to the writer of Hebrews. The animal inside, as my current song track is singing, doesn’t have to win out. My fear, doubts, and uncertainty of the future can never eclipse Christ. I must continue to trust and obey, for he knows and I do not. My restlessness can find rest in the Ultimate Rest.

I can’t see, but I’m glad Someone can. I’ll keep following him.