Kaitlyn – Page 7 – Thoughts from Blue Eyes

About Kaitlyn

Hi. As a follower of Jesus Christ, my desire is to glorify the living God of the Bible and point others to him through the thoughts and musings of my broken life made whole by him. I'm a blue-eyed thinker and Bible college grad, married to a cute theologian who is very gifted at doing dishes and teaching God's Word. I love British period dramas and sharing the gospel with strangers. My prayer is that you know Christ more because of his work in my life.

Catharsis

It’s quiet around here.

I’m back in the city temporarily for work. Dearest Claire and I are rooming together for the week, and it’s a strange place without the crew, profs, and daily routines that light up campus during the school year. I’ve left Julia the Roommate, Hebrews class, and Year 2 behind. And I have come out more reliant on Christ than ever.

It’s as though this year opened up a whole new level of depth inside my heart. Things seem more real, more three-dimensional, more important. I know how much more I need Jesus, and I have realized that I am united with him as his chosen child. As the church, I am a part of the collective bride of Christ, joined with him as one flesh. I have seen intercessory prayer answered as friends have experienced peace, clarity, and reassurance from the Lord. My own faith has grown as

CatharsisKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00

Brink

Sitting in the campus coffee shop with Corbin the Class President and studying for final exams is a strange deal. As I reflect on the ending of Year 2 and rain flops into the plaza, I’m reminded again of how time always flies too fast.

You blink, and it’s gone.

I’ve got several topics swirling around my mind: how we systematize too much, beauty as gift, intercessory prayer, motivations, grad school, frappuccinos. I’m thinking how adult I don’t feel even though I’m halfway done with Bible college and taking on more responsibility every moment. I’m memorizing the facial expressions and vocal inflections of those who are moving on. I’m praying that I may know Christ more each day.

Sometimes, I feel like this is a joke, or like I’m still 10 years old and will wake up in my pink Barbie nightgown one of these days to my dad making cinnamon raisin toast. There are

BrinkKaitlyn2015-05-09T00:34:18+00:00

“Don’t You Know Who I Think I Am?” and the Slump

They say quitters never win, says the song I’m listening to at this moment.

Tex and I grabbed milkshakes last night. Again, this brother in the Lord preached the Gospel back to me and reminded me of much.

I’ve been up and down this semester; I’m dubbing it a slump, because I’ve found myself questioning a lot and feeling in a funk quite often. Part of it is the weighty amount of, “Kaitlyn, I need you to pray for me right now” and, “Kaitlyn, where is God in my pain? Why won’t he bring peace?” The other part is simply Year 2: too far from the beginning to remember why I started and too far from the end to see the light of God’s future ministry for me.

Tex is one of those people who can genuinely encourage. The Spirit working through him lifted my heart and made me rethink my outlook on

“Don’t You Know Who I Think I Am?” and the SlumpKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00

“Lord, I Need You” and the Extrovert

I sometimes feel a panicky desperation in my heart whenever I’m with people I care about. It’s not because I dislike being with friends or claustrophobic; on the contrary, I want those moments to last forever, and I feel this rising tightness that whispers intensely to me: “Lock this in! Take in everything! Analyze every color and shape and emotion in this scene! Because it won’t happen again!”

I have an eternal Rolodex of those. Today, I added several scenes to the picture diary in my head. Watching the sunrise with some floor sisters this early morning, sitting quietly in the plaza as campus woke up, and skating at an 80s-style roller rink are some of those precious images. They are broken down into bits and pieces — it’s not like I can vividly remember each and every fleeting thought — but I value them. Sometimes it’s hard to move into

“Lord, I Need You” and the ExtrovertKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00

“Hearts Like Ours” and the Assurance

“He is faithful. I don’t understand,” she laughed. “There’s a lot of grace.”

Brynna the RA and I took a long walk this afternoon through the park and down to the beach. The weather is beautiful, the end of the semester is near, and the campus is alive with shorts and flip-flops.

We hadn’t been able to really talk for some time due to work and school schedules, but I was so glad we were able to catch up. Her encouragement and experience is like a refreshing wave regarding some of the stuff I’m sorting through. God provides and speaks through our brothers and sisters more often than we know. I will miss her when she leaves for ministry across the world.

I continue to humbly learn how much I need Jesus. I need him to love others through me, to wake me up, to give me words that will help and not

“Hearts Like Ours” and the AssuranceKaitlyn2015-04-17T21:55:33+00:00

“Nothing Without Love” and the Struggle

Too much information + an analytic mind + a pressing internal desire to know God’s truth and get it right by his Spirit = (not sure yet, not at the end yet, is there an end yet?) Add Nate Ruess’s latest tune, and that’s been the soundtrack for today.

I met with Dr. M. this morning to process some things I’ve been learning in class and life. Namely, where do I fit in God’s designs for his children? I know my passions and giftedness; how do I honor him and not malign the Word when it comes to teaching the truth of the Bible?

This discussion is one that I’ve been turning over and over in my mind. I so desperately wish to serve God, and I want to “get it right” when it comes to what his Word means in light of A) who is given the green signal to teach

“Nothing Without Love” and the StruggleKaitlyn2015-04-09T04:33:16+00:00

“Space Oddity” and the Resurrection

I spent the weekend up in my Northwoods with a merry bunch of travelers.

Yes, our theme song was the infamous David Bowie track. Yes, we ate fish fry, walked in the woods, and stepped out onto the frozen lake near the house. Yes, we celebrated the merciful, amazing miracle of our Lord Jesus Messiah’s resurrection.

Death, where’s the sting now when the designer of all history and sustainer of the universe himself defeated you?

Returning back to campus for the final six weeks is going to be a long run, but reflecting on what Jesus did out of love for us is fuel and joy and motivation that yes, sin is conquered and can be overcome; yes, there is hope; and yes, there is victory.

My favorite account of his resurrection is in the book of John because of what happens to Mary Magdalene. She was redeemed at the Lord’s hand from tortuous

“Space Oddity” and the ResurrectionKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00

Somewhat Soul-Refreshed

It’s amazing to see how the Lord works and proves his faithfulness even when I doubt.

I attended a ladies’ prayer night at a church down the street for a class assignment. I was observing local women’s ministries and writing reports for my ministry methodology class. I didn’t expect to be filled and refreshed vibrantly with the Spirit: renewed energy to serve Christ, and deep encouragement from the kind sisters who prayed with me.

Cue the conversation with my roommate. We had been dealing with some eggshells and tensions recently, and I honestly didn’t think it was going to end well. We got coffee, sat down, and the Lord answered my prayer. We were able to restore our relationship through forgiveness and honesty. Open communication is a gift.

Reflecting on Palm Sunday in worship this morning. our pastor talked about the reasons why Jesus had to die: to fulfill prophecy, to make redemption

Somewhat Soul-RefreshedKaitlyn2015-03-29T21:49:10+00:00

Somewhat Study-Driven

Fact: I’m in the library. Fact 2: I’m wearing a red t-shirt. Fact 3: Distorted Bible teaching makes me want to scream.

In my ministry methodology class, Dr. M said that accurate biblical teaching is the foundation for a church ministry, and I agree.

Why is it so hard to teach the truths of the Word today? Why can’t churches be doing what God has asked us to do? How come believers refuse to be uncomfortable, ask hard questions, see beyond March Madness and what the Kardashians are scandalizing today? One healthy helping of biblical illiteracy, fresh out of the oven!

I think it’s because we’re afraid.

If we truly believe what the Bible says about God and us, then many of us would be living with a ton more humility, reverent fear, and urgency. If we truly lived out the commands in the Bible, then we would conduct ourselves so differently. If we walk

Somewhat Study-DrivenKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00

Somewhat Servant-Minded

What does it mean to love God? Answer: obeying his commands. John 14:15, 23.

How can we obey his commands? Answer: by the Spirit, by loving one another, by serving. John 13.

Serving. The paradoxical clarion call to all who profess faith in Christ: denying the flesh, proactively doing something for someone else instead of putting yourself first. Humbling yourself. Saying, “Yes.” When we are irritated, tired, tempted, prideful, or lazy, we are to remember our Lord and his humility, and to do likewise.

After all, Jesus still washed Judas Iscariot’s feet.

I’ve been reading about the Upper Room and meditating on the Lord’s demonstration of humiliating servant-hood when he stooped to wash the disciples’ feet. It never occurred to me before: why didn’t one of the disciples do it? It was an expected chore for a slave, but since there wasn’t one present to wash their dirty, dusty, road-caked feet, you’d think one

Somewhat Servant-MindedKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00

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