April 2015 – Thoughts from Blue Eyes

“Don’t You Know Who I Think I Am?” and the Slump

They say quitters never win, says the song I’m listening to at this moment.

Tex and I grabbed milkshakes last night. Again, this brother in the Lord preached the Gospel back to me and reminded me of much.

I’ve been up and down this semester; I’m dubbing it a slump, because I’ve found myself questioning a lot and feeling in a funk quite often. Part of it is the weighty amount of, “Kaitlyn, I need you to pray for me right now” and, “Kaitlyn, where is God in my pain? Why won’t he bring peace?” The other part is simply Year 2: too far from the beginning to remember why I started and too far from the end to see the light of God’s future ministry for me.

Tex is one of those people who can genuinely encourage. The Spirit working through him lifted my heart and made me rethink my outlook on

“Don’t You Know Who I Think I Am?” and the SlumpKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00

“Lord, I Need You” and the Extrovert

I sometimes feel a panicky desperation in my heart whenever I’m with people I care about. It’s not because I dislike being with friends or claustrophobic; on the contrary, I want those moments to last forever, and I feel this rising tightness that whispers intensely to me: “Lock this in! Take in everything! Analyze every color and shape and emotion in this scene! Because it won’t happen again!”

I have an eternal Rolodex of those. Today, I added several scenes to the picture diary in my head. Watching the sunrise with some floor sisters this early morning, sitting quietly in the plaza as campus woke up, and skating at an 80s-style roller rink are some of those precious images. They are broken down into bits and pieces — it’s not like I can vividly remember each and every fleeting thought — but I value them. Sometimes it’s hard to move into

“Lord, I Need You” and the ExtrovertKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00

“Hearts Like Ours” and the Assurance

“He is faithful. I don’t understand,” she laughed. “There’s a lot of grace.”

Brynna the RA and I took a long walk this afternoon through the park and down to the beach. The weather is beautiful, the end of the semester is near, and the campus is alive with shorts and flip-flops.

We hadn’t been able to really talk for some time due to work and school schedules, but I was so glad we were able to catch up. Her encouragement and experience is like a refreshing wave regarding some of the stuff I’m sorting through. God provides and speaks through our brothers and sisters more often than we know. I will miss her when she leaves for ministry across the world.

I continue to humbly learn how much I need Jesus. I need him to love others through me, to wake me up, to give me words that will help and not

“Hearts Like Ours” and the AssuranceKaitlyn2015-04-17T21:55:33+00:00

“Nothing Without Love” and the Struggle

Too much information + an analytic mind + a pressing internal desire to know God’s truth and get it right by his Spirit = (not sure yet, not at the end yet, is there an end yet?) Add Nate Ruess’s latest tune, and that’s been the soundtrack for today.

I met with Dr. M. this morning to process some things I’ve been learning in class and life. Namely, where do I fit in God’s designs for his children? I know my passions and giftedness; how do I honor him and not malign the Word when it comes to teaching the truth of the Bible?

This discussion is one that I’ve been turning over and over in my mind. I so desperately wish to serve God, and I want to “get it right” when it comes to what his Word means in light of A) who is given the green signal to teach

“Nothing Without Love” and the StruggleKaitlyn2015-04-09T04:33:16+00:00

“Space Oddity” and the Resurrection

I spent the weekend up in my Northwoods with a merry bunch of travelers.

Yes, our theme song was the infamous David Bowie track. Yes, we ate fish fry, walked in the woods, and stepped out onto the frozen lake near the house. Yes, we celebrated the merciful, amazing miracle of our Lord Jesus Messiah’s resurrection.

Death, where’s the sting now when the designer of all history and sustainer of the universe himself defeated you?

Returning back to campus for the final six weeks is going to be a long run, but reflecting on what Jesus did out of love for us is fuel and joy and motivation that yes, sin is conquered and can be overcome; yes, there is hope; and yes, there is victory.

My favorite account of his resurrection is in the book of John because of what happens to Mary Magdalene. She was redeemed at the Lord’s hand from tortuous

“Space Oddity” and the ResurrectionKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00