Jesus – Thoughts from Blue Eyes

“I have forgot much, Cynara! Gone with the wind…”

There are some teeny, tiny shadows of a wrinkle beginning to form under my eye.

Corbin says I’m being paranoid, and I agree with that statement – no one else can tell except me, I still look much younger than I really am. I have good genes and take care of my skin. It’s such a small thing.

It’s a sign, though, that the inevitable is happening. I am aging. Why am I surprised at this? After all, I’ve aged to my late twenties now. I have lived the transformation of child to teen to adult. What makes this transition weird or frightening?

I’ve aways said I want to age gracefully, to be shining with joy inside and out, never obsess over gray hair or crinkles and be beautiful in spirit even as my outward shell fades away. I’ve always told myself that I’m going to be fiercely committed to embracing my age

“I have forgot much, Cynara! Gone with the wind…”Kaitlyn2023-07-03T18:33:53+00:00

Lament // Waiting

I think it’s week 6 of my shelter-in-place/quarantine/coronavirus panic insanity? It’s a bit unsettling that I’ve somewhat lost track of the days. I’ve tried to keep track by baking something every weekend. But it’s blurry.

Our world is in chaos due to a tiny germ that broke out of the East and floated around the world on unsuspecting travelers. Many comparisons have been made to sin, the metaphors abound, talk of lament and prayer and reliance on the Lord are ABUNDANT. So many articles. Devotionals. Stories. I’m drunk on it, there’s too much to read, too many opinions, too m a n y t h o u g h ts.

The news is exploding. No one even remembers the Biden/Sanders primary race (was that really, juuuust a month or so ago?) There’s nothing else to say and nothing else to talk about. I know the names of a lot more governors and

Lament // WaitingKaitlyn2020-04-19T04:23:38+00:00

What I’m Learning from my High-Church Friends

[Note: This post begins a new shift in writing. During my time in Bible college, this blog served the wonderful purpose of assisting me in processing my musings about the Lord working in my life. I will still seek to honor him in all my writing, but now that I’ve graduated, I’d like to make my posts more structured and topic-focused.]

I am hardly a high-church type of person, although I spent the first seven years of my life in a place full of chant-y rituals, clerical robes, and passing the communion cup. That church, sadly, was a dead and cold place, and my parents left seeking Christ’s face in a church elsewhere. From then on, I have been fed and nourished in a series of Bible-based denominational and non-denominational Bodies.

In Bible College, I met my first Anglican friend. In a curious pendulum swing from our parents and pastors of our youth,

What I’m Learning from my High-Church FriendsKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:18+00:00

The Door Opener

It’s funny how He does it.

My life has consisted of a progressive unfolding, a journey of steps and many, many doors. My heart has been rent and reformed dozens of times–expectations derailed, God switching my direction, people hurting me, me hurting people, disillusionment, and other assorted inconsistencies with my fallen logic about how things are supposed to be. The Lord always uses it to grow me into a deeper disciple.

This moment is a moment of sweetness, a door that has been steadily opening in segments with little slits of light peeking through. God has been showing me glimpses of the future by intersecting my present: affirmations that I am gifted and blessed, future plans falling into place, expressions of love by my family and dearest friends, reminders that our God is the Lord of all.

I sometimes stare into space, mentally pinching myself because it’s hard to believe that I am

The Door OpenerKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00

Perhaps

“Great is Thy faithfulness,” the congregation sang. Worshiping at a historic church here in the City, I receive a weekly dose of beauty and hymnody. This morning, as I looked another semester square in the face and was wondering how long I’d be able to retain my mental capacities, I joined in singing these words.

“Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow…”

Anxiety is a crippling demon that drowns out the truth. Shutting out the reality that God is here and able prevents us, his children, from letting the peace of Christ rule richly in our lives (Col 3:15). We have peace that endureth, and we are united with the One who has bestowed pardon for sin.

The thing is, God always comes through. What does that mean? It means that he never fails and always does what is right. This could mean that he chooses not to rescue us from our

PerhapsKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00

Wounds and Boxes

There are several storage tubs currently sitting under my bed. They hold things of mine: gloves, an extra hat, shoes, summer clothes neatly folded and laundered.

We tend to associate storage with organization, or unneeded items, or solved predicaments. Our closets hold possessions that are not necessary for regular use, or perhaps they keep hidden things that shouldn’t be seen by visitors in our lives.

Each one of us has a heart closet. In his great redemptive work of love, Jesus cleans out our souls with his blood and enters inside. He takes up residence (Eph 3:17-19), and as we grow up spiritually, he travels further, requesting access into more and more chambers of our closets.

Sometimes, though, there are scars. We make mistakes that leave deep wounds. We run to disobedience, lusting after idols and sin. We bury a hatchet instead of dealing with it. We overlook our offenses against others. In

Wounds and BoxesKaitlyn2015-12-02T05:21:29+00:00

Incarnation Incarnate

Do you neglect your body? Because Christ sure didn’t. He redeemed what he took on, and I suppose that includes the human body.

Marissa and I were talking in her room the other night, attempting to do homework and read but not getting very far. She’s a bit of a health nut. I appreciate her insight.

“Christians should really be the physically healthiest people out there. I mean, we’ve been made spiritually whole by Jesus, so that should extend to how we treat ourselves physically.”

She got me thinking. Do I take care of my body? Because Jesus died for me, and he was incarnated into a human body. You’d think that would mean something to us, right?

And yet how often do I see in my own life and in the lives of others this attitude that our bodies are just trash receptacles, temporary “tents” that we can use however we want and to do

Incarnation IncarnateKaitlyn2015-10-21T04:46:16+00:00

Altar Altercations

It was straight from the Enemy.

Right as communion was about to be served, a commotion began in the front of the sanctuary. A man was yelling something, the worship pastor and the ushers formed a net around him and tried to calm him down until a security officer could escort him out. The organist began to play a tune to smooth everything over. I was dumbfounded as the man continued to put up a fight, shouting, “This church sucks!” as he was led quickly down the main aisle.

Right before the most important celebration believers partake in, when our minds were fully focused on the sacrifice of Christ and the goodness of God. The most holy moment during the entire service. Coincidence? I think not.

How often does a dirty wrench get tossed into our lives right in the middle of sweetness and spiritual growth? Sometimes it’s from the Enemy or our

Altar AltercationsKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00

“Space Oddity” and the Resurrection

I spent the weekend up in my Northwoods with a merry bunch of travelers.

Yes, our theme song was the infamous David Bowie track. Yes, we ate fish fry, walked in the woods, and stepped out onto the frozen lake near the house. Yes, we celebrated the merciful, amazing miracle of our Lord Jesus Messiah’s resurrection.

Death, where’s the sting now when the designer of all history and sustainer of the universe himself defeated you?

Returning back to campus for the final six weeks is going to be a long run, but reflecting on what Jesus did out of love for us is fuel and joy and motivation that yes, sin is conquered and can be overcome; yes, there is hope; and yes, there is victory.

My favorite account of his resurrection is in the book of John because of what happens to Mary Magdalene. She was redeemed at the Lord’s hand from tortuous

“Space Oddity” and the ResurrectionKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00