I was crying in front of the TV last night. My first thought is that I’m a total weirdo, but then I just embraced it. Something had touched my heart in some way…probably important to embrace it and feel it. (And write about it, since I’m still thinking about it).

What was I watching? Ha – the comedy/romance/spy show, Chuck. I’m over ten years overdue from when the show came out, and I’m not a big TV person. But I ended up watching and getting hooked on it a couple months ago when Corbin suggested it.

My disclaimer about most shows I’ve seen is that I like parts, but won’t enthusiastically rewatch or 100% recommend due to various content issues. Chuck was no exception – some episodes were a little gritty.

Something different about this show, though, was how the characters grew and related to each other, especially the two mains, Chuck and Sarah. Their marriage is so sweet and precious because of the huge buildup to it, but also because it is so realistically portrayed. There’s conflict, uncertainty about the future, pregnancy scares, newlywed love, longing for a happy life together. And a consistent pulse of “I don’t deserve you, you’ve made me a better person” type stuff.

Plus, Chuck is truly an average guy (working at the equivalent of a Geek Squad at the fictional Buy More). He is intelligent and goofy, with hero potential that’s completely trapped in a metaphorical box under the bed…until he meets Sarah, and she inspires him to become the best he can be. He becomes the hero of the story. She loves him for who he is and realizes over a slow period of time that he is the one for her. Their relationship is so endearing and emotional – well written, and a heck of a lot better than other sitcom romances, in my opinion.

So (and yes, spoiler alert, but I’m here to process my thoughts, so too bad!), when Sarah loses her memory of the past five years, Chuck is rightfully and realistically devastated. He believes she is “still in there,” finally taking her to their dream house and pleading with her to remember. He is an ugly crier – super realistic – but all she can remember is that he is her mission and she’s supposed to kill him. After a series of events, she does believe Chuck about what happened, but none of the feelings or lived experiences are there. Chuck wants her back, but understands – it won’t be the way it used to be. They part ways, and Sarah leaves to go figure things out and find herself again.

One last push to find Sarah and Chuck ends up at the beach from Season 1, where Sarah first told Chuck to trust her as his spy handler. They’re sitting together in the sand, staring at the Pacific, when Sarah turns to Chuck and asks him, “Tell me our story.” Cue the most EMOTIONAL montage ever, with the most emotional song by Hand and the Heart, showing all the highs and lows of the past five years: Chuck first meeting Sarah at the Buy More when he had nerdy, crazy hair; their first missions together; their fake relationship cover; their wedding. I’m not crying, you’re crying…we’re all crying.

Finally, the entire show ends with Chuck kissing Sarah. He tells her about this crazy idea his friend had, that maybe if they kiss, something about it will be magical and all her memories will truly come back. Sarah looks at him: “Chuck.” “Yeah?” “…Kiss me.” AND THEY DO. AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL. And the show ends.

We never get to find out what happened after – did Sarah’s memories come back? Do they end up back together? I love closure, so my feelings about that particular piece of the story are mixed, but the whole thing was just so…incredibly sweet. Not saccharine, but precious and emotional because it.felt.realistic.

Something about this resonated within me and I’m trying to figure it out. Yes, the storytelling, getting attached to the characters over a period of time – that’s all typical TV stuff. I think what was different this time, though, was the following:

  1. The main characters actually get married. Most TV shows, characters just live together or date, not actually committing and vowing to love and be together as long as they live. Although Chuck and Sarah do live together for a while (sadly, but what else is new in the non-Jesus world), they actually covenant together and commit. And they actually mean it. Wow. That adds a depth you don’t normally see
  2. The characters all develop in positive, healthy ways. Man, I fell in love with these characters. They were so well acted and written. And by the end of the show, each one has developed, overcome obstacles or character flaws, and grown. It is so satisfying and feels so good when there are so many other TV shows out there where no one really changes or grows (looking at you, Gilmore Girls #sorrynotsorry).
  3. The characters were my age and stage. Granted, I ain’t no superspy, but I have lived and know that feeling of being in your twenties, wondering what’s coming next in life. I know what it’s like to have that person who starts as a whatever, then becomes a friend, then becomes the love of your entire life and you can’t imagine ever being separated. It struck a chord with me.
  4. Having your spouse completely forget you would be, yes, devastating. Although the show is fiction and there’s no such thing as an Intersect device, blah blah blah, the reality of your spouse forgetting you is sobering and heartbreaking. And this in case, when there was so.much.buildup to the main characters’ relationship. to see that suddently get wiped away hurts as a viewer as much as it hurts the other characters. We’ve been along for this whole ride, and we feel the effects too. Also, how horrible if Corbin forgot our entire story and looked at me like a stranger (or worse, a target, like in Chuck’s case). aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh
  5. Whoever did the music for this show deserves a prize. From the theme song to the final credits, this show was soundtracked perfectly. It also gave me a lot of nostalgia to high school self when I was first discovering cool music and putting tunes on my iPod nano.
  6. At its core, the show was all about family and the importance of friends/community. Just as how all roads lead to Rome, Chuck always led back to the family relationships and the importance of keeping your loved ones in your life. The characters love, are loved, and grow because of it. We see Chuck and his sister, their parents, coworkers who become friends, friends who become best friends, parents reuniting with their kids, marriage and dating, and all the complicated topics that live in those spaces. Abandonment, childhood trauma, separation of parents, neglect, divorce, lying – each of these things compromises one’s ability to flourish. Conflicts are resolved by talking through them, characters own up to poor decisions and past hurts, and everyone grows. This, friends, is what reality and real family look like. You have to do the hard work, and Chuck actually shows that. By the end of the show, all the characters become like a family.

Was it delightful to “discover” Zachary Levi back when he was like 25 and new to the screen? 120% yes. Did this show provide entertainment and laughs, good characters and a great story? Yes.

At the end of the day, and this is what I’m landing on, we can’t ignore what God has designed and that those things are the most “right” – we can feel it and sense it. The joy of seeing a man and a woman be married, the fierce commitment of family and friends, discovering one’s purpose and gifts, saving people in trouble, and growing as a person – although way diluted down, and on a TV show, I don’t think we can help resonating with these concepts because they show us a flicker of how the world is supposed to be. We long for things to be “right in the end” because we recognize this world is not the way it’s supposed to be. We long to see the world live rightly according to God, and when we see a tiny piece of that, our hearts are lifted. We are in love with the grand story of the hero, winning his bride and defeating evil, because that is what is playing out right now.

God has created us to long for what is good, to long for Him. Perhaps I’m overthinking this, but I was definitely crying in front of the TV because of something more meaningful than a good wrap-up to a show.