Did you fall more in love with Jesus today?

That’s heavy, Doc.

Is that not the chief end of man? Something about enjoying God and glorifying him forever? (Westminster Catechism, *cough cough*). 

Behold me, amateur, as I wake up in the morning with a bleary mumbled greeting of thanks to my Lord. Then, I somehow manage by his grace to get out of bed and mumble more thanks and eat my breakfast. As I involve myself in the lives of my family, my own musings, books, movies, I “amen” to something someone else says. Watch carefully as I “fall more in love with Jesus” as I subsequently forget to pray the entire day and haphazardly return to Colossians 1 two minutes before I crash into sleep. Did you take notes? 

As you can see, I’m the master at the Christian walk. Pfft.

This is weighing heavily upon me. Shouldn’t I be more in love with the Lord than a month ago? Deeper in my prayer life? More attached to the Scriptures or more willing to be a servant? More in tune with the Lord’s will, what he desires and wants?

What is preventing me? What’s preventing you? I can tell you, I know enough to know that Jesus hasn’t changed or done anything different. I can tell you for sure that the Holy Spirit is still in me. God is real. So what’s up?

Answer? Ahh, yes, the usual culprit:


I left one of the most encouraging, Christ-centered, Jesus-filled communities on earth at my school in May. I came home to wonderful family and have had to slow down a lot, giving me a lot more free time despite working, and I’ve been able to do so much at church. I came back riding high but somehow, as I’ve discovered, deluded myself into thinking I could simply coast. It’s like I slipped into this summer haze of autopilot where suddenly, I just don’t feel like doing anything that takes effort anymore. And I’m the only person to blame.

You see, despite the wonderful spiritual growth and Jesus-totally-provided experiences and everything, I am still an inch from sliding back into old habits. Sure, the Spirit is sanctifying me, but cooperating with him helps! And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the issue.

Feelings aside, I know there are things I should be doing. The Christian walk is an active one that demands our full participation. Jesus said, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me” (Luke 9:23). More and more am I realizing how hard it is to die to oneself.

You see, the answer to “somehow I deluded myself” is making one small choice of laziness that ended up into a slothful snowball. And actually, as I’m sitting here, I just realized a moment a few weeks ago when I skipped reading the Bible because I was tired and had to get up early for work the next day. Ta-da, thank you for playing on our show.

Pinpointing our sin is part of what the Holy Spirit does in our lives. Thanks be to God for getting me back on target and realigning me. For helping me to see.