Oh my love, here we are on April 7th and time is flying. You are so big and fun and sweet…four months have exploded and I can’t believe you used to be so small you could fit on my chest like a little like bean. And now you are lying over my shoulder napping and we are rocking in our chair together. You are my joy. Your chubby thighs and little fingers and beautiful blue eyes and rosy cheeks are my favorite things in the entire world. My heart is desperately full of love and an anxious need to protect you from everything. I want to be able to hold you forever. You are my squishy bunny baby.
I never understood until now how mothers could and do feel about their babies. My life truly feels like it can be divided into two parts, before and after having you, because of how suddenly my entire perspective and priorities have shifted to you. My little treasure holding in my arms. My little gift, all giggles and smiles and vulnerability, wrapped up in a tiny blankie in my shoulder. I miss you when you were small. I miss the days that have passed. And yet I am joy filled today, and every day, and eager to savor each day coming with you. The Lord is good and faithful, He will lead us safely home, and I promise to hold you every single day I am alive. Thank you Jesus for my daughter. Thank you for making her, for making me into a mom. I have never felt joy like this. This is a rare and beautiful thing and yet also an ordinary thing, a streak of delight and color that most women do get to experience. Motherhood is a shaft of light and hope in a world tainted by sin. Thank you for this privilege, this mercy, to be able to experience something this wonderful in life, God.
