It’s early in the morning on New Year’s Eve and I’m sitting here nursing my treasure, My sweet baby girl. The past 3 weeks have been an absolute blur, The hardest of my entire life. I have never given more of myself. I have never felt more spent and exhausted. I have struggled emotionally and physically. I have felt so alone.
I know that I’m going to get through this. I know that it doesn’t last forever and that I will look back on these times and miss them. She is so little. So uncomplicated. So loved and she doesn’t even know it yet! I know the Lord is with us. I feel sometimes like I am drowning. I feel like I am in a blanket of anxiety and trapped. Having a baby can make you feel claustrophobic and desperate. It’s mostly just the lack of sleep talking and the wild hormones.
I look at her little hands and her little face and how much she trusts me. I’m so happy that she is my baby. I am overwhelmed at how loved and supported I am by my family. I am overwhelmed at how beautiful she is and that I carried her for 9 months, birthed her, and that she is a fully formed image bearer.. an eternal soul that Corbin and I created by God ‘s help and grace.
Thank you Jesus.
It’s easy to worry about the days ahead. My life is now limited to one day, 1 hour sometimes at a time, in order for my mental health and physical health to stay sane. But that’s okay. Having a baby turns everything upside down and there’s really no way to prepare for it. You can take the classes and read the books and talk to your friends, but until you just jump off the cliff of parenthood, there’s only so much you can do.
Lord, please give us grace. Please keep me close to you. Please be with us in a special way. Let this next year be one of Joy and increased faith. Bless our little girl and our little family. And help me Lord to trust you instead of giving into fear.
For 2025, I think I need to return to ” trust over fear.’ as my phrase of the year. There is so much to trust God for in his provision. He has always taken care of me, of us, in the past. I need Faith, Jesus, to trust you to do it again.
Thank you for a really sweet entry into a new year with our special girl and with our family..
