Spiritual Growth – Thoughts from Blue Eyes

it smelled like the august of 2013

I stepped outside and the scent of sunshine, of warm wind, of a very specific olfactory sensation hit me. It made me think of hope and memories yet to be made from late-night dorm talks, the smell of change and excitement and bewilderment, of discovering twenty one pilots and having eyes wide open to every experience happening to me.

I felt 18 again for a moment.

I’ve always been the type of person to take in everything and savor it, remember it, feeling the weight of the small hours and seconds that make up our lives. Sometimes a small voice shouts in my head, Remember, remember this! when a this tangibility happens, a snapshot that I ought to grab and file away and hold.

2020 has been one large roller coaster of weirdness, fear, hope, and curiosity. No one could have predicted what has happened in our world. I’ll never forget trying to plan

it smelled like the august of 2013Kaitlyn2020-08-17T15:33:54+00:00

Modern-Day Siloam Towers

Everyone is human. And that means everyone is broken – we all struggle and fight in this life, whether it’s circumstances, others, or our own selves.

I never thought Kobe Bryant would be the one to move me out of my long writing hiatus, but it’s been a strange week, and I’ve been wrestling for a while with thinking that I have things to say, but there are so many words already out there, that it doesn’t really matter in the end. But it kind of does, and keeping thoughts in my brain don’t usually serve a good purpose for anything besides my own mental filing cabinets.

Some would call the death of basketball star Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna tragic. I would agree to an extent – it seems so senseless, a helicopter crash that shouldn’t happened, an absolute star and his little girl and a group of friends taken

Modern-Day Siloam TowersKaitlyn2020-02-01T05:09:07+00:00

Pieces

Crumbs. Pieces. Fragments. Slices.

The Bible, when you think about it, doesn’t offer us that much. This book is, by its own attestation, God’s complete self-revelation, everything he believes is necessary for us to know about him, ourselves, and this world in order to live the way we were meant to. And all we have? Some history of an obscure people group in the Middle East, poetry, strange prophecies from even stranger times, and some random letters written by preachers on the run. Not much.

But this is everything. Life, truth, light. We can KNOW GOD through these seemingly-random desert scribblings. This is how the Creator and Redeemer of the universe has decreed it, and the fact that he used the vehicle of language is shocking. When you examine the Bible through the lens of humility, of knowing God, this is what you see.

Currently, I am staring at a dusty passage from

PiecesKaitlyn2016-01-29T20:07:41+00:00

Wanted: balance between relying on God for my future and going after it myself

I want to do well. I don’t do things halfway. I want to be known as someone who is reliable, able, competent.

A drive for excellence is still important — wanting to do well, putting all our effort into a task, seeking to honor God by giving him our best — but we must pray for discernment and conviction t0 make sure these things do not morph into idols of perfectionism.

Especially in a ministry setting, I’ve realized that this can be an iron wall: wanting to do your best, but relying on the Lord means that it’s not in your own power. Add in the the fact that there’s always going to be someone who is “better” than you (read: with writing, teaching, knowledge, gentleness, hospitality, Scripture memorization, master of the Greek text, everyone they talk to gets magically saved and you can’t even manage to effectively communicate your college major

Wanted: balance between relying on God for my future and going after it myselfKaitlyn2015-07-12T21:20:53+00:00

Somewhat Sucker-Punched

The future can hit you straight in the stomach sometimes. Growing up is hard to do.

I find myself again in a strange moment of tension where I’m looking ahead to adulthood but hanging onto my childhood at the same time. I’ve evolved and matured over the past two years at college, and God has definitely been changing me during this time. I feel old some days, heavy with experiences and conversations, but returning home for Spring Break to the Northwoods is like the Twilight Zone. Things change, but slowly, in a bit of a vacuum. After all, when there’s only 12 people per square mile, not a whole lot is going on. My family is pretty well stabilized.

Praise God, though, for consistency and ever-present arms which welcome me back. Praise him, though, for a warm church community and for familiar faces. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord,

Somewhat Sucker-PunchedKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:20+00:00

Preferring

Peanut Butter S’mores. It may sound disgusting, but it’s one of my favorite ice creams.

Rose Latte. It may sound disgusting, but it’s one of Hannah the Traveler’s favorite coffee drinks.

We are all created with preferences. I like this, you like that, he can’t stand that, fill-in-the-blank. That’s part of how God made us, and it’s a wondrous thing to see how the Body of Christ fits together with the distributed uniqueness among us all. It’s beautiful how people are so different but need the same things: food, shelter, love.

God.

I wonder how many people think of God as just another preference, like an extra blurb to add to a biography or something to rattle off when we talk about mutual interests. “I like chocolate, watching classic films, and going to church,”

PreferringKaitlyn2015-01-09T03:41:02+00:00