Life – Page 2 – Thoughts from Blue Eyes

We’re having leftovers for dinner tonight

There is so much left to know about God.

Until about two years ago, I was sort of “yeah-okay-cool” about reading the Bible; I was frustrated that I had a hard time reading it, and I dutifully tried my best to please God by reading it. I didn’t really “study” a whole bunch. I didn’t invest a lot of time into thinking about what I had read, how it affected my beliefs, and what it all meant for reality, for life.

After all, growing up in church, I had essentially heard it all before. Right?

I think that, all too often, we as Christians forget about why we do what we do. Why do you read the Bible? Why do I?

“…that I may know Him,” wrote Paul in Phil 3:10. For too long, I was really only reading the Bible to check it off a list, to feel better, to assuage my own personal

We’re having leftovers for dinner tonightKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00

Brink

Sitting in the campus coffee shop with Corbin the Class President and studying for final exams is a strange deal. As I reflect on the ending of Year 2 and rain flops into the plaza, I’m reminded again of how time always flies too fast.

You blink, and it’s gone.

I’ve got several topics swirling around my mind: how we systematize too much, beauty as gift, intercessory prayer, motivations, grad school, frappuccinos. I’m thinking how adult I don’t feel even though I’m halfway done with Bible college and taking on more responsibility every moment. I’m memorizing the facial expressions and vocal inflections of those who are moving on. I’m praying that I may know Christ more each day.

Sometimes, I feel like this is a joke, or like I’m still 10 years old and will wake up in my pink Barbie nightgown one of these days to my dad making cinnamon raisin toast. There are

BrinkKaitlyn2015-05-09T00:34:18+00:00

“Don’t You Know Who I Think I Am?” and the Slump

They say quitters never win, says the song I’m listening to at this moment.

Tex and I grabbed milkshakes last night. Again, this brother in the Lord preached the Gospel back to me and reminded me of much.

I’ve been up and down this semester; I’m dubbing it a slump, because I’ve found myself questioning a lot and feeling in a funk quite often. Part of it is the weighty amount of, “Kaitlyn, I need you to pray for me right now” and, “Kaitlyn, where is God in my pain? Why won’t he bring peace?” The other part is simply Year 2: too far from the beginning to remember why I started and too far from the end to see the light of God’s future ministry for me.

Tex is one of those people who can genuinely encourage. The Spirit working through him lifted my heart and made me rethink my outlook on

“Don’t You Know Who I Think I Am?” and the SlumpKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00

“Lord, I Need You” and the Extrovert

I sometimes feel a panicky desperation in my heart whenever I’m with people I care about. It’s not because I dislike being with friends or claustrophobic; on the contrary, I want those moments to last forever, and I feel this rising tightness that whispers intensely to me: “Lock this in! Take in everything! Analyze every color and shape and emotion in this scene! Because it won’t happen again!”

I have an eternal Rolodex of those. Today, I added several scenes to the picture diary in my head. Watching the sunrise with some floor sisters this early morning, sitting quietly in the plaza as campus woke up, and skating at an 80s-style roller rink are some of those precious images. They are broken down into bits and pieces — it’s not like I can vividly remember each and every fleeting thought — but I value them. Sometimes it’s hard to move into

“Lord, I Need You” and the ExtrovertKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00

“Hearts Like Ours” and the Assurance

“He is faithful. I don’t understand,” she laughed. “There’s a lot of grace.”

Brynna the RA and I took a long walk this afternoon through the park and down to the beach. The weather is beautiful, the end of the semester is near, and the campus is alive with shorts and flip-flops.

We hadn’t been able to really talk for some time due to work and school schedules, but I was so glad we were able to catch up. Her encouragement and experience is like a refreshing wave regarding some of the stuff I’m sorting through. God provides and speaks through our brothers and sisters more often than we know. I will miss her when she leaves for ministry across the world.

I continue to humbly learn how much I need Jesus. I need him to love others through me, to wake me up, to give me words that will help and not

“Hearts Like Ours” and the AssuranceKaitlyn2015-04-17T21:55:33+00:00

Somewhat Soul-Refreshed

It’s amazing to see how the Lord works and proves his faithfulness even when I doubt.

I attended a ladies’ prayer night at a church down the street for a class assignment. I was observing local women’s ministries and writing reports for my ministry methodology class. I didn’t expect to be filled and refreshed vibrantly with the Spirit: renewed energy to serve Christ, and deep encouragement from the kind sisters who prayed with me.

Cue the conversation with my roommate. We had been dealing with some eggshells and tensions recently, and I honestly didn’t think it was going to end well. We got coffee, sat down, and the Lord answered my prayer. We were able to restore our relationship through forgiveness and honesty. Open communication is a gift.

Reflecting on Palm Sunday in worship this morning. our pastor talked about the reasons why Jesus had to die: to fulfill prophecy, to make redemption

Somewhat Soul-RefreshedKaitlyn2015-03-29T21:49:10+00:00

Somewhat Study-Driven

Fact: I’m in the library. Fact 2: I’m wearing a red t-shirt. Fact 3: Distorted Bible teaching makes me want to scream.

In my ministry methodology class, Dr. M said that accurate biblical teaching is the foundation for a church ministry, and I agree.

Why is it so hard to teach the truths of the Word today? Why can’t churches be doing what God has asked us to do? How come believers refuse to be uncomfortable, ask hard questions, see beyond March Madness and what the Kardashians are scandalizing today? One healthy helping of biblical illiteracy, fresh out of the oven!

I think it’s because we’re afraid.

If we truly believe what the Bible says about God and us, then many of us would be living with a ton more humility, reverent fear, and urgency. If we truly lived out the commands in the Bible, then we would conduct ourselves so differently. If we walk

Somewhat Study-DrivenKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00

Somewhat Servant-Minded

What does it mean to love God? Answer: obeying his commands. John 14:15, 23.

How can we obey his commands? Answer: by the Spirit, by loving one another, by serving. John 13.

Serving. The paradoxical clarion call to all who profess faith in Christ: denying the flesh, proactively doing something for someone else instead of putting yourself first. Humbling yourself. Saying, “Yes.” When we are irritated, tired, tempted, prideful, or lazy, we are to remember our Lord and his humility, and to do likewise.

After all, Jesus still washed Judas Iscariot’s feet.

I’ve been reading about the Upper Room and meditating on the Lord’s demonstration of humiliating servant-hood when he stooped to wash the disciples’ feet. It never occurred to me before: why didn’t one of the disciples do it? It was an expected chore for a slave, but since there wasn’t one present to wash their dirty, dusty, road-caked feet, you’d think one

Somewhat Servant-MindedKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00

Somewhat Sucker-Punched

The future can hit you straight in the stomach sometimes. Growing up is hard to do.

I find myself again in a strange moment of tension where I’m looking ahead to adulthood but hanging onto my childhood at the same time. I’ve evolved and matured over the past two years at college, and God has definitely been changing me during this time. I feel old some days, heavy with experiences and conversations, but returning home for Spring Break to the Northwoods is like the Twilight Zone. Things change, but slowly, in a bit of a vacuum. After all, when there’s only 12 people per square mile, not a whole lot is going on. My family is pretty well stabilized.

Praise God, though, for consistency and ever-present arms which welcome me back. Praise him, though, for a warm church community and for familiar faces. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord,

Somewhat Sucker-PunchedKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:20+00:00

Life as Ministry

I pondered his words over a vanilla latte this afternoon.

“I’ve been learning how to rest this semester…I was doing so much for the Lord — walking with him, doing ministry, and yet I ceased to rest in him. It was my most productive semester yet, but it left me burned out and empty.”

I call him Insightful Kyle for a reason.

As a believer, one aspect of growing in the Lord is recognizing that nothing is about me. I exist to glorify and praise my creator, which is a beautiful and freeing thing. I seek to do ministry to women because I deeply desire others to know their place as daughters in the Lord, members of the Body of Christ, and valued, purposeful disciples for the King (as my professor likes to say, ministering poets instead of unfinished poems). I cannot imagine doing anything else besides walking through life in the trenches with others.

Life as MinistryKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:20+00:00