College – Page 2 – Thoughts from Blue Eyes

Altar Altercations

It was straight from the Enemy.

Right as communion was about to be served, a commotion began in the front of the sanctuary. A man was yelling something, the worship pastor and the ushers formed a net around him and tried to calm him down until a security officer could escort him out. The organist began to play a tune to smooth everything over. I was dumbfounded as the man continued to put up a fight, shouting, “This church sucks!” as he was led quickly down the main aisle.

Right before the most important celebration believers partake in, when our minds were fully focused on the sacrifice of Christ and the goodness of God. The most holy moment during the entire service. Coincidence? I think not.

How often does a dirty wrench get tossed into our lives right in the middle of sweetness and spiritual growth? Sometimes it’s from the Enemy or our

Altar AltercationsKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00

Sometimes Quiet is Violent

I remember sitting with Luke on the steps to the alleyway last semester. He was dying inside for lack of peace. Over the next few weeks, we talked and prayed and cried out to God together. I fervently read the Psalms with him. We’d eat french fries and wonder when God would respond.

We didn’t doubt, we just wondered.

I’ve been confronted with the idea that God suffers inconsolably with us, and that discontent breeds love, so we all must be discontent, including God. That he’s impatiently pacing back and forth, waiting for the day when perfection can be restored in heaven. Eden made us lose our innocence, and now we have to face the tragedies and sufferings that accompany knowledge of good and evil. He’s going to wipe our tears away, but I denote a problem with this image of a suffering God who is out of control, doesn’t understand, and doesn’t

Sometimes Quiet is ViolentKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00

The cross is an instrument of torture. It’s the symbol of who we are in Christ, God’s love, his sacrifice, his awesome grace and cleansing blood. We wear it around our necks, paste it to our walls, build wooden versions of it on our church steeples. We see it so much….have we forgotten what it means?

Bible studies, sermons, small groups, fellowship, even communion and baptism….we have become desensitized to their significance and purpose. Our society has gripped the church and turned it into a selfish, experience-driven buffet that seeks to stuff us with bloated, boring, banal.

We are tired. We refuse to admit it. We are hungry. We don’t know why.

Oh, how the American church has lost its focus! Who can ascend the holy hill of the Lord anymore, as the Psalmist cried out?

Do we pray for Paul’s words to be true in our lives, that we might count everything as loss compared

TrendingKaitlyn2015-08-27T03:12:47+00:00

Brink

Sitting in the campus coffee shop with Corbin the Class President and studying for final exams is a strange deal. As I reflect on the ending of Year 2 and rain flops into the plaza, I’m reminded again of how time always flies too fast.

You blink, and it’s gone.

I’ve got several topics swirling around my mind: how we systematize too much, beauty as gift, intercessory prayer, motivations, grad school, frappuccinos. I’m thinking how adult I don’t feel even though I’m halfway done with Bible college and taking on more responsibility every moment. I’m memorizing the facial expressions and vocal inflections of those who are moving on. I’m praying that I may know Christ more each day.

Sometimes, I feel like this is a joke, or like I’m still 10 years old and will wake up in my pink Barbie nightgown one of these days to my dad making cinnamon raisin toast. There are

BrinkKaitlyn2015-05-09T00:34:18+00:00

“Don’t You Know Who I Think I Am?” and the Slump

They say quitters never win, says the song I’m listening to at this moment.

Tex and I grabbed milkshakes last night. Again, this brother in the Lord preached the Gospel back to me and reminded me of much.

I’ve been up and down this semester; I’m dubbing it a slump, because I’ve found myself questioning a lot and feeling in a funk quite often. Part of it is the weighty amount of, “Kaitlyn, I need you to pray for me right now” and, “Kaitlyn, where is God in my pain? Why won’t he bring peace?” The other part is simply Year 2: too far from the beginning to remember why I started and too far from the end to see the light of God’s future ministry for me.

Tex is one of those people who can genuinely encourage. The Spirit working through him lifted my heart and made me rethink my outlook on

“Don’t You Know Who I Think I Am?” and the SlumpKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:19+00:00

“Hearts Like Ours” and the Assurance

“He is faithful. I don’t understand,” she laughed. “There’s a lot of grace.”

Brynna the RA and I took a long walk this afternoon through the park and down to the beach. The weather is beautiful, the end of the semester is near, and the campus is alive with shorts and flip-flops.

We hadn’t been able to really talk for some time due to work and school schedules, but I was so glad we were able to catch up. Her encouragement and experience is like a refreshing wave regarding some of the stuff I’m sorting through. God provides and speaks through our brothers and sisters more often than we know. I will miss her when she leaves for ministry across the world.

I continue to humbly learn how much I need Jesus. I need him to love others through me, to wake me up, to give me words that will help and not

“Hearts Like Ours” and the AssuranceKaitlyn2015-04-17T21:55:33+00:00

“Nothing Without Love” and the Struggle

Too much information + an analytic mind + a pressing internal desire to know God’s truth and get it right by his Spirit = (not sure yet, not at the end yet, is there an end yet?) Add Nate Ruess’s latest tune, and that’s been the soundtrack for today.

I met with Dr. M. this morning to process some things I’ve been learning in class and life. Namely, where do I fit in God’s designs for his children? I know my passions and giftedness; how do I honor him and not malign the Word when it comes to teaching the truth of the Bible?

This discussion is one that I’ve been turning over and over in my mind. I so desperately wish to serve God, and I want to “get it right” when it comes to what his Word means in light of A) who is given the green signal to teach

“Nothing Without Love” and the StruggleKaitlyn2015-04-09T04:33:16+00:00

Somewhat Soul-Refreshed

It’s amazing to see how the Lord works and proves his faithfulness even when I doubt.

I attended a ladies’ prayer night at a church down the street for a class assignment. I was observing local women’s ministries and writing reports for my ministry methodology class. I didn’t expect to be filled and refreshed vibrantly with the Spirit: renewed energy to serve Christ, and deep encouragement from the kind sisters who prayed with me.

Cue the conversation with my roommate. We had been dealing with some eggshells and tensions recently, and I honestly didn’t think it was going to end well. We got coffee, sat down, and the Lord answered my prayer. We were able to restore our relationship through forgiveness and honesty. Open communication is a gift.

Reflecting on Palm Sunday in worship this morning. our pastor talked about the reasons why Jesus had to die: to fulfill prophecy, to make redemption

Somewhat Soul-RefreshedKaitlyn2015-03-29T21:49:10+00:00

Somewhat Sucker-Punched

The future can hit you straight in the stomach sometimes. Growing up is hard to do.

I find myself again in a strange moment of tension where I’m looking ahead to adulthood but hanging onto my childhood at the same time. I’ve evolved and matured over the past two years at college, and God has definitely been changing me during this time. I feel old some days, heavy with experiences and conversations, but returning home for Spring Break to the Northwoods is like the Twilight Zone. Things change, but slowly, in a bit of a vacuum. After all, when there’s only 12 people per square mile, not a whole lot is going on. My family is pretty well stabilized.

Praise God, though, for consistency and ever-present arms which welcome me back. Praise him, though, for a warm church community and for familiar faces. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord,

Somewhat Sucker-PunchedKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:20+00:00

Life as Ministry

I pondered his words over a vanilla latte this afternoon.

“I’ve been learning how to rest this semester…I was doing so much for the Lord — walking with him, doing ministry, and yet I ceased to rest in him. It was my most productive semester yet, but it left me burned out and empty.”

I call him Insightful Kyle for a reason.

As a believer, one aspect of growing in the Lord is recognizing that nothing is about me. I exist to glorify and praise my creator, which is a beautiful and freeing thing. I seek to do ministry to women because I deeply desire others to know their place as daughters in the Lord, members of the Body of Christ, and valued, purposeful disciples for the King (as my professor likes to say, ministering poets instead of unfinished poems). I cannot imagine doing anything else besides walking through life in the trenches with others.

Life as MinistryKaitlyn2019-10-08T02:29:20+00:00