The future can hit you straight in the stomach sometimes. Growing up is hard to do.

I find myself again in a strange moment of tension where I’m looking ahead to adulthood but hanging onto my childhood at the same time. I’ve evolved and matured over the past two years at college, and God has definitely been changing me during this time. I feel old some days, heavy with experiences and conversations, but returning home for Spring Break to the Northwoods is like the Twilight Zone. Things change, but slowly, in a bit of a vacuum. After all, when there’s only 12 people per square mile, not a whole lot is going on. My family is pretty well stabilized.

Praise God, though, for consistency and ever-present arms which welcome me back. Praise him, though, for a warm church community and for familiar faces. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord, Jesus Christ, that he is the same yesterday and today and forever despite my growing process (Hebrews 13:8).

Home is what is needed and what is refreshing to me, despite my Chicago denizen status. I’ve been wrestling with a few drama-laden people situations back at school, and God has brought me home to step back for a while. He has provided rest, and even though it’s a bizarre confrontation of the reality that I’m growing older, home is still safe and important.

Longing for home when the future (and the present) hit hard brings James 1 to mind again. Count it all joy, everyone — trials and tests bring perseverance and maturity. My difficulties are strengthening me. This weird process of transition is hard. Okay. By the Spirit, I can do it.

It’s easy to say, harder to do. Growing up, dealing with frustrating people, running for your life…leaning on the Lord is the best option we have as Christians. Focus on him, who is standing at our final home, waiting to welcome us.

After all, that’s where our final rest is (Phil 3:21, Heb 4).

I can almost see it.