There’s no such thing as the perfect man.

Outwardly, everyone affirms my previous statement: Of course. We all know that. Yep.

Look in your heart.

If you are single today, if you are married today, if you are dating today, do you carry the terribly incorrect belief that your future/current spouse is supposed to be a certain way and act like this and behave just the way you want? That’s called playing God.

That’s called sin. That’s called being selfish.

We tend to assume that the other person needs to be perfect. We tend to make them into an idol. Worst of all, we tend to make them Jesus. 

Relationships are a tricky thing. We are saved and redeemed by God, but we all still struggle with sin. We can truly love, but we still carry scars and have difficulty relating–heck, we don’t even know ourselves fully. If we don’t keep our eyes wide open and contend in prayer, we will cling to an unrealistic image and make a man (or woman) into our savior. 

I can testify to the temptation here. It’s so easy to come up with a list of things I “want” in a boyfriend/husband and then reject every single person who doesn’t exactly fit that meticulous image. I can easily make a friendship into something it’s not or abuse the feelings of a young man because I want him to be like the perfectly debonair Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. Manipulation. Control. All the things that I’m not supposed to do, I want to do in order to satisfy my pride. Going too deep too fast–we all want to do that, too, instead of letting things play out in a healthy fashion. The heart is deceitfully wicked; who can understand it? (Jer. 17:9).

A lot of it boils down to pride and thinking I know what’s best for me rather than trusting God and keeping things in an open palm. Relying on truth over feelings is always the skeleton key. In all honesty, remaining calm and peaceful and letting relationships develop slowly, over time, in a pure way, is the best. 

Love Jesus with absolutely everything you are, so much that it makes me more like Jesus to be around you. Add in mutual interest, which (for me, at least) cancels out a ton.

Ta-da. I think that’s a good start. 

See your brothers and sisters around you and know that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, but we are justified freely through Christ’s gift of salvation. Romans 3:23-24.

Lord, forgive us for thinking others can be as perfect as you. Forgive us for thinking we know what is best and for not believing you provide your children with good gifts.